How Do I Know If My High School Senior is Ready for 4-Year College Right After High School?

With the coming of fall, the college application season has started in earnest for high school seniors around the country. While it is a period of excitement for many students, it also has the potential to be a stressful time as well. There are applications to fill out, recommendations to get from teachers, college counselors to meet with and the everyday demands of school and extracurricular activities. There is also the stress that high school seniors experience when they feel like they are measuring their success in comparison to how their peers are doing in the college application process.

Many parents get swept up in the 4-year college application process as well. For the majority of parents the outcome of the college application process can feel like the culmination of the “parenting project” and the ultimate marker of their success as a parent. They see their child’s peers applying to marquee schools and it can feel like all the parent conversations turn into updates about the application process or updates about where the neighbor's kid was accepted.

During this emotionally fraught time when the stakes feel so high, parents can forget to ask the most important question of all.

“Is my child ready for 4-year college right after high school?”

Knowing the answer to this question fundamentally helps you know if your child is ready to thrive in a 4-year college and if they can keep themselves safe and on track. Secondarily, knowing the answer to this question helps you as a parent assess if it makes sense to make the financial sacrifices that you might need to make now or if your child needs to “bake” a little longer before you allocate your financial resources.

Here are five signs to look for when assessing your student’s readiness.

They demonstrate curiosity 

While students do not need to know what they are going to major in (though some schools may ask them to apply based on a declared major) when they apply to college, they should be able to demonstrate some basic curiosity about the world and the opportunities to explore that college affords them. Curiosity will help them take full advantage of what 4-year college has to offer because it can propel them to explore what is possible. If they are the type of young person who currently does not show much curiosity and only tackles what is in front of them it may be a good idea to wait before spending so much money to put so many possibilities within their reach.

They are able to recognize when they need help and they self advocate

Asking for help and taking action is fundamental for college success. Does your child currently ask for help when they need it in high school? Do they do that independently or need you to push them to do that? It will be very hard to push your student towards action when you do not see them every day.

They can manage their time independently

Your child may be looking to college as time where they no longer hear you nag them about getting up in time for school, pester them to complete their homework and study for tests, harass them to get to their part-time job or practice on time etc. But can your child do these things on their own? College class schedules offer a lot of unstructured time and this can be very challenging for young people who are used to having a set schedule that tells them where to be at any given time during the high school day.

They are able to take care of themselves

Can your child make food for themselves? Are they able to manage and make decisions when they are under the weather? Do they have healthy eating habits? Are they able to make decisions about drinking that do not compromise their well being? Can they get to places on time by themselves? Can they manage their money? Are they consistent about taking needed medications? Can they do their own laundry? Some of these situations are more high stakes than others. But they all contribute to behavior that will either support their success on their own in college or impede it.

They demonstrate resilience when unexpected challenges arise

The four years of college can be an exciting time of exploration and growth, but they often come during a period in a young person's life when they are navigating greater independence and when they are experiencing more complex social interactions. As a high school student, how have they handled setbacks? Their ability to show resilience in the face of hardships now offers a window into how ready they are to manage challenges that may knock them off their intended course when they are on their own.

Some things to keep in mind:

Do not feel discouraged if your high school student is not able to do ALL of the things above at the highest level–it is the rare child that has mastered all of these ways of being by the end of high school. Most young people exhibit all of these habits to some degree. It is up to you as a parent to assess where they are in making progress with these habits on a continuum and to support them in “building the muscles” that will allow them to show more mastery in each of these areas. As they make progress you can reassess their readiness to be more independent in a 4-year college setting.

But keep in mind that change often requires intervention such as speaking to your child about these habits directly and helping them self-reflect about where they see themselves on the continuum of growth for each of these metrics. It may also mean getting them support such as tutoring, coaching or counseling to help them take the next step in their growth.

It is also good to remember that just because they are not fully ready now does not mean that they will never be ready. Before finding success at a 4-year college they may need a foundational step such as testing the waters at a community college or living at home for a year or more while they attend a 4-year college.

At What Comes Next we specialize in helping students and families imagine what comes next beyond high school. 

Reach out to us for a free consultation if you are feeling like you need support in thinking through your student’s readiness for 4-year college and exploring post-high school options that make sense for them and for you as a family.